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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//SoftQuad//DTD HoTMetaL PRO 4.0::19971010::extensions to HTML 4.0//EN"
"hmpro4.dtd">
<HTML>
<HEAD>
<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
<META NAME="Author" CONTENT="David T. Etler">
<META NAME="GENERATOR" CONTENT="Mozilla/4.04 [en] (WinNT; I) [Netscape]">
<TITLE>Clan UMTS :::Where Quake Geeks are also Bus Geeks:::</TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY TEXT="#000000" BGCOLOR="#000000" LINK="#00FF00" VLINK="#CCCCCC"
ALINK="#FF0000">
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0" WIDTH="100%"
BGCOLOR="#000000">
<TR BGCOLOR="#000000">
<TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" WIDTH="5" BGCOLOR="#000000"><IMG SRC="clanlogo3.gif" ALT="Clan UMTS: a beautiful way of life." HEIGHT="200" WIDTH="282"></TD>
<TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="CENTER" BGCOLOR="#000000">
<CENTER>
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0" COLS="1" WIDTH="100%" BGCOLOR="#FF0000">
<TR>
<TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="CENTER"><B><FONT COLOR="#CCCCCC"><FONT SIZE="+1">OUR
FAVORITE SERVER </FONT></FONT></B>
<P><FONT COLOR="#CCCCCC"><B>KEEPING US OFF THE STREETS.</B> </FONT>
<BR> </P></TD>
</TR>
</TABLE></CENTER> </TD>
</TR>
</TABLE>
<P><BR>
<TT><FONT SIZE="+1"><FONT COLOR="#FFFF00">WE ALL NEED A PLACE TO CALL
HOME. </FONT> </FONT></TT>
<BR><TT><FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF">Home. It's a word that conjures up
memories of sights, sounds and even smells. Seeing your mother, bent
over, reaching for a bottle of Grand Marnier, her huge ass stuck up in the
air like two gelatinous prize-winning watermellons beneath a flannel
nightgown. The quick, flat thwack of your father slapping the shit
out of your little sister because she said the s-word in front of Daddy's
mistress. The smell of your dog, Pampers, as he defecated on your
shoes. All these years later, when you think of home, these are the
things that come, unbidden, to mind. It's no wonder you're so fucked
up.</FONT></TT>
<BR> </P>
<CENTER>
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0" WIDTH="100%" BGCOLOR="#000000">
<TR>
<!-- Main Menu Start -->
<TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" WIDTH="110">
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="0" CELLPADDING="0" COLS="1" WIDTH="1" BGCOLOR="#000000">
<TR>
<TD WIDTH="1"><A HREF="index.html"><IMG SRC="home1.gif" ALT="Where the railgun is" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="32" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="members.html"><IMG SRC="members2.gif" ALT="It's like a car wreck. You want to look away, but you can't" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="25" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="mission.html"><IMG SRC="mission3.gif" ALT=""Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants."" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="27" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="why.html"><IMG SRC="why4.gif" ALT="Because the bus to NoHo doesn't come for another 45 minutes." BORDER="0" HEIGHT="28" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="hatred.html"><IMG SRC="hatred5.gif" ALT=" I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way." BORDER="0" HEIGHT="61" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="server.html"><IMG SRC="server6.gif" ALT="Look at all the chunks!" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="63" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="excuses.html"><IMG SRC="excuses7.gif" ALT=""Camper!"" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="44" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="links.html"><IMG SRC="links8.gif" ALT="Ooo, something shiny!" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="28" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><A HREF="contactus.html"><IMG SRC="conactus9.GIF" ALT="Send us some Rush tickets or something." BORDER="0" HEIGHT="40" WIDTH="100"></A></TD>
</TR>
<TR>
<TD><IMG SRC="10.gif" BORDER="0" HEIGHT="12" WIDTH="100"></TD>
</TR>
</TABLE> </TD>
<!-- Main Menu End -->
<TD ALIGN="LEFT" VALIGN="TOP" WIDTH="85%">
<BLOCKQUOTE><FONT COLOR="#33CCFF">Our favorite Quake II server is alot
like our families. Warm, loving, dangerous, with a whopping
serving of disfunctionality thrown in for good measure.
<A HREF="http://www.yodasbarn.com/">Yoda's Barn</A> is all those
things and more. Connect late at night, and you're likely to witness a
conversation between the children, obsessed with acquaintences of
theirs who are "gay", or "fags", or who play Quake
like "girls". At the same time, their well-meaning
elders are attempting to enlighten them regarding their misconceptions
by railing them out of existence. </FONT>
<P><FONT COLOR="#33CCFF">Visit the Barn's message board around the
dinner hour and you might witness
<A HREF="mailto:[email protected]">Dark Priest</A>, the
Barn's administrator and authoritarian father figure, actually
threatening to physically beat Barclay into a pastey dough if he
doesn't use the <A HREF="http://www.yodasbarn.com/bbs/">message
board</A> according to DP's rules. We may whisper to each
other later in our rooms that we "hate" him, but deep down
inside, we know that he's the only father we've got...that if we
piss him off too much, he just might kick us out of his house.
It's times like this when we miss our own fathers, and each man's
particular brand of tough love. And just as we now feel
affection for our fathers, perhaps someday we will know that DP only
made those threats because he cares about us, and not just because
he's obsessed with important Quake players liking him.</FONT>
</P>
<P><FONT COLOR="#33CCFF">And, late at night, when we're in our beds
thinking black thoughts, we wonder whether DP will ever find for us
the <A HREF="1divine.jpg">mommy</A> we never had. We silently
plead with him to stop working so hard, and start smelling the
roses. If that would only happen, we tell ourselves, then
maybe...just maybe...he'd stop threatening to beat us to a pulp
whenever we clog the toilet.</FONT> </P>
<P><FONT COLOR="#33CCFF">Remember, DP, it's all in good clean
<A HREF="http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?db=*&term=fun">fun</A>.
We lowly, unimportant players love your server.</FONT></P></BLOCKQUOTE>
</TD>
</TR>
</TABLE></CENTER>
<P><BR>
</P>
<CENTER> <IMG SRC="hrline3.gif" ALT="Pretty, isn't it." HEIGHT="50" WIDTH="670"></CENTER>
<TABLE BORDER="0" CELLSPACING="3" CELLPADDING="3" COLS="4" WIDTH="100%"
BGCOLOR="#000000">
<TR>
<TD WIDTH="31"><A HREF="http://www.netscape.com/download/prev.html"><IMG SRC="netscape.gif" ALT="Get Netscape, dammit." HEIGHT="31" WIDTH="31"></A></TD>
<TD><FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF"><FONT SIZE="-1">This site looks best when
you use <A HREF="http://www.netscape.com/download/prev.html">Netscape
Navigator 4.0 </A>or better, at 800x600. If you don't have
Netscape, close your eyes and think to yourself, "I'm a loser."
And for Christ's sweet sake, go get a video card that doesn't suck.
Jeez, I bought one for $25 and it gives me 1152x864.</FONT></FONT></TD>
<TD><FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF"><FONT SIZE="-1"><A HREF="http://www.umass.edu/campus_services/transit">UMass
Transit Service</A> has nothing officially to do with this web site.
However, many of the viewpoints that will eventually be expressed herein
will probably create active ulcers for our bosses. I cry a salty
tear.</FONT></FONT></TD>
<TD><FONT COLOR="#FFFFFF"><FONT SIZE="-1">This site was created by
<A HREF="mailto:[email protected]">[UMTS]Chzdanish</A>. Three
cheers for mediocrity!</FONT></FONT></TD>
</TR>
</TABLE>
</BODY>
</HTML>